Elk Conversations During the Off Season?

[WapitiTalk1]

I wonder what the "elk" talk about in the off season. Elk hunters obviously pass the time on the Wapiti Talk Forum talking about potential hunting areas, shot placement, gear recommendations, have you ever been attacked by a bird, calling techniques, which pointy metal things are the best, lunch menu on the 5th day of the hunt during the 2016 season, whether one should bone out their harvest, and of course…stories from the previous year.

Here are a few topics of discussion our Wapiti friends may engage in during the off season. Feel free to add any you may have heard of :

1. Montana 6X6 talking to a group of young rag horns and spikes. “Yeah, you’ll be fine if you listen to the older bulls like me and Ralph.” Lesson one….”Only bugle to locate. Once they respond, or you smell them, simply move quickly to the ridge above the draw and watch the show. Some of them two leggers will actually stay in that same draw for an hour bugling excessively trying to call you in”.

2. Arizona 7X7 talking to a group of cows. “I’m not one to brag, but I successfully got within 20 yards of ten different hunters last season before they knew I was in the country. The frosting on the cake was when the guy shot his arrow off the brush into a tree. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I got the heck out of there”.

3. A two year old, bright eyed, Oregon cow talking to the other ladies in the herd on a lazy summer afternoon. “So, you’re saying a long third point on their antlers has a direct correlation to the length of something else”? (sounds of giggling)

4. Montana 6X6 talking to a group of young rag horns and spikes. Lesson two. “More often than not, they’ll give themselves away as hunters. Excessive cow talking, bugling, and brush smashing is a dead giveaway for me. It’s the ones that use their calling sparingly you need to watch out for”.

5. Washington 5X6 talking to his buddy. “Whoa! I know what you mean, those Pacific Crest Trail hikers smell like they’ve been wallowing and palpitating for days”.

6. Colorado bull watching the outdoor channel (I guess they have Direct TV in the high country now). “No stupid..don’t walk over there.. it’s not a real cow, it’s one of those Poison Arrow decoys.. he’s right there.. get away.. It’s a hunter.. HE’S RIGHT BEHIND THAT COW FACE! I can’t watch.. turn it off”.

[wawhitey]

5. Washington 5X6 talking to his buddy. “Whoa! I know what you mean, those Pacific Crest Trail hikers smell like they’ve been wallowing and palpitating for days”.

Wallowing in patchouli is more like it

[six]

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[Lefty]

The elk talk hit my funny bone.

When I was at the Elk Refuge all I heard was one whiny cow,..
Im sure she was taking about the group of 6x6 bulls that now completely ignore her.

7. "Mr 350" kept ditching her and sneaking off with other cows in the herd, Now the only bull still interested in her barely has a 6 inch brow tine ,.....

[Fridaythe13th]

4x4 in Idaho, has anybody seen my dad????

(buddy) some guy named elknut found him, never had a chance.

(4x4) pour dad, that's OK I'm the king of the mountain this year



7x7 in Kentucky. Hay what h@!! just fell of my head? where did my back scratcher go?

[Charina]

One cow to another: "I am sooooo glad fall is over. It seems he had only one thing on his mind. Constantly! He was hounding me incessantly, and no matter how many times I told him I had a headache, or was tired, or it wasn't the right time, he just kept yammering on and on and on and pestering me constantly. He even got a bit rough and violent towards me hooking me with his antlers a couple times when I said 'no' - can you believe the audacity of that?!? As if that made me want him more!!! lol I got so sick of it! It's as if he only wanted me for one thing, and didn't appreciate me for being me! I just don't get these bulls . . . I'm dreading next breeding season."

[Charina]

Bachelor herd talk: "Dude! Can you believe how prude those cows were this fall? It's like they didn't want it at all!! I mean, when I did finally get some, they acted all hurt with their ears back, hunched over . . . wow, that really killed the connection I thought we felt. They told me that if I protected them from the harassment of the immature impatient bulls, I'd be rewarded. And what happened? Headaches, tired, stressed from weaning the calves, hurt feelings from last breeding season, and on and on . . . one excuse after another for a full month! It seemed the only thing that worked was getting really rough and hooking them to let them know how badly I needed it. I got so desperate at one point I started going to some hunter's cow talk even though I knew it was fake. I got half way there before I came to my senses!!! It sure seems they are using the promise of affection as a tool to get the protection they want, but are sure stingy on delivering their part of the deal. I can't believe I committed myself to one herd and promised to stay with them and them only. Is herding even worth it any longer? Seems like so much work with such infrequent reward. Still . . . I can hardly wait until next breeding season!!!! Come on September!"

[WapitiTalk1]

These are great! Thank you for the late February chuckles

[WapitiTalk1]

"I'm not kidding you, I've seen it. They wander around in the spring and pick up our shed antlers. Who does that? It's gotta be some weird fetish. I mean really, what would they think if we snuck around barber shops grabbing globs of their hair. And somebody explain to me what that flashy thing is they set on trails? Talk about annoying!"

[Charina]

"I'm so so so excited! I weighed myself this morning . . . and guess what? I gained two pounds this last week! How much have you gained since becoming pregnant? I can hardly wait until he is born. I miss nursing so badly I can hardly stand it. Life will be wonderful again when I have a baby to nurse, teach, and love. I just love the springtime and all the love in the air, the flowers are blooming, the grass is green, and I have a baby to nurse."

"Dude! Don't those cows remember how much they complained last Spring after childbirth? And how they swore they'd never have another calf? Those ladies are a few trees short of a forest if you ask me! Still . . . there's just something about a preggo body I can't help but stare at . . . "

"Hey, dude, what'cha thinking about?" "September, September, September, come-on September!" "Yeah, I hear you there!!! What do you think those $%*&! hunters are thinking about during the off season?"

[WapitiTalk1]

A. “Hide head behind tree, stand real still, and hope the hunter doesn’t see you”.
B. “Bark loudly and run away”.
C. “Try to have your way with a sultry cow”.
D. “Grunt loudly and stand in the open”.
E. “Try to have your way with a spike bull”.

Five possible answers for one of the final exam questions during the Spring 2016 “Rut Training/Human Contact 101 Course". The question was: “What is the appropriate course of action when you’ve moved in towards a bugling bull but you can’t see the bull that was calling?” The correct answer is B (a smart, group survival oriented bull will bark loudly to alert all other herd members then hightail it away from an obvious hunter situation). Answer A and D are really, really dumb and incorrect (this is how we lose many young bulls every year). Answer C, although tempting in any rut situation should be avoided at this time. Answer E is a bit suspect and is also, not the correct answer.

[swmoelk]

uploadfromtaptalk1456516072439.jpg (34.22 KiB) Viewed 4533 times

[wawhitey]

This guy sure looks like hes saying something funny. Either that or he has a big ol wad of skoal in his lip.

[Tigger]

"Dude! Look! My head! I lost my rack....wait a second....I am not a cow now am I? Could you, uh, make sure I am still a bull please? Just a quick peak, no staring."

[WapitiTalk1]

Spring quarter, "Human Contact 201", Pike's Peak Community Elk College day one discussion (January 31, 2016). Professor Barnabus Bull (PhD in humanology) opens up day one of his class by posing this first question. "Allright, I'm glad to see many of you made it back from the 2015 season"... Tell me, what did you learn last year?

1. "I learned that if something is making elk sounds at you and you can't see the elk, it's probably a hunter". (low glunking of approval from the bulls in the class)

2. "I learned that those hoochie mama calls wouldn't fool at drunk porcupine in a blizzard from 300 yards away". (sounds of chuckling)

3. "I learned that if you throw just a few grunts out at the end of a bugle, 75% of hunters will cross the deepest draw to come and try to find you".

4. "I learned that if you bugle at them around their camp all night, they can't sleep at night and won't do a full day hunt the following day". (sounds of hooves clapping)

5. "I learned that if you talk a bear into screwing with their camp a bit, many of them will leave the next day".

6. "I heard that there is one tree dwelling hunter in Oregon that actually whizzes on bears from trees". (sounds of EEEOOOW, GROSS! from the cows in the class)

[Tigger]

7. I learned that if they have those stick/string thingys, you can keep them at about 100 yards all day and go up and down the steepest mountains you can find and they will follow! Soon they will start wheezing and huffing trying to keep up with you. They aren't in very good shape.