Coming Clean..as per request

[idahoghost]

I admit it, I am an Elk user. I have been through all the rehab programs, but as of yet, I have been unable to kick the habit. I hoping some of you may be able to help. Please let me explain.

It all started innocently enough 47 years ago at the age of 10. You know a ground squirrel here and there, after school and only with my friends. Really nothing excessive, just .22’s in the fields next to the house. Then one squirrel turned into the next and before long, I was washing cars to pay for ammo. You know, doing odd jobs just to get the next box of shells, whatever it took to fill the gun, “Hey Mister? Need your lawn mowed?”

Easy short shots turned into longer and longer distances. Then I tried head shots only. This may have been the turning point into a full blown addiction, who really knows how this affects the brain. The cravings were irresistible and insatiable, almost as bad as girls.

.22’s turned into .243’s and fifty yards escalated to 300 yds. Squirrels were no longer enough, I was always looking for the next high, the bigger thrill. Rock chucks, then coyotes, then moving targets. Nothing was safe.

Squirrels weren’t enough, deer weren’t enough; I always wanted more. I slowly moved up and up in usage. Larger and larger game, there was always another high to be found. Then addiction escalated to a bow and arrow.

I know, Elk, I’ll try an Elk, just once. I can always stop, what is the big deal? It’s just an Elk. I know people who have hunted elk and stopped the next year, if they can I can, right?

Sadly, one Elk turned into another. Once again, just like the little squirrels I was satisfied, a new high and I could quit anytime I wanted. Right?

At first a rifle was enough, just as the squirrels had been long ago. The peaceful feeling after the long stalk, the shot, and the long pack out, it all worked. It all satisfied me.

But then the off-season would rear its ugly head. The nightmares started, what about next year, what would I do, where would I go? Could I find elk again, how big would he be, which unit should I put in for, how long could I be sick from work, will my family recognize me at the end of the season? It was terrible. I needed a longer season, that was it, the season had to go on longer, and once again the bow came out.

The ammo was less, but the bows more. Back to working odd jobs to get the next better piece of equipment. I was always looking for the next item. No store was too big, too small or too far. Rangefinders, decoys, broadheads, day packs, elk packs, game bags, trailcams, bugles, binoculars, diaphragm calls, carbon shafts, spotting scopes, unlimited camo clothes, tents, 4X4 trucks, stoves, more packs, knives, tree-stands, blinds, the list never seemed to end.

It seemed as though the conversations always turned to Elk, at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. At first it was with only friends in Cabelas, then total strangers in the checkout line at Circle K. “Hi, my name is Larry; the milk is sure cold isn’t it? By the way, nice outfit, have you seen any elk lately?”

My family knew I was in trouble and they tried in vain to break the habit. Try fishing they said, try hiking, but it always ended in looking for the next wallow.

I was convicted of stalking in the public park for following a two toned brown sweater in the trees, who knew it was an old lady? Then there was the “disturbing the peace” charge. Bugling from our front porch, how did I know it was midnight? The kids were ridiculed for the dad with the diaphragm hanging from his mouth at the football game, excitedly cow calling at the touchdown.

My grandparents even became involved with the recovery process. They bought tickets to a concert and telling me it was about elk calling. They even remove the “W” from the musician’s last name on the flyer, just so I would go. It was only when the string instruments began to play; I suddenly knew it was another desperate attempt to break my habit.

In shear desperation I turned once again to the ten point intervention program.
You know:

1. Admitting you’re an elk addict
2. Not practicing the estrus cow call in the bathroom
3. No more bugling at midnight, claiming it’s the neighbour’s dog
4. Stop looking for tracks at the kid’s playground
5. No more game cameras in the local park
6. Removing the decoys from the backyard
7. No more sitting in the tree stand at the nursery while my wife was buying seeds
8. Working the month of September, instead calling in sick for 30 days
9. Driving straight home from work, instead of driving through McCall
10. No more camo clothes at church or at the 4th of July Barbeque, “just in case”

Just to prove I had finally won and could kick the habit, I went to one of Paul’s classes just to show I could stop elk hunting even in face of great temptation. I was willing to face my addiction head-on and walk away, head held high and tell the world, “elk really are not a big deal and not important to me”!

I left the class with a new bugle, two Cd’s, a diaphragm call, and Paul’s private cell phone number. It was only after Paul gave me his number that I let go of his pant leg; just as well my teeth were beginning to hurt from hanging on to it. (sorry about your torn cuff Paul)

I have heard some say, Paul is an elk in human form, put here to bring out our demons, and now he has started this forum. Which may in fact bring the human race to it’s..

What honey, er, a, no I am not.. just go to bed.. it’s 2:00am… what do you mean damn elk..?

[Buckriser]

Hi, my name is Ryan, and I'm addicted to Elk!

[mongopino915]

Awesome post.

In the last three years, I am down a 30-06 and 7mm mag but gained 10 compound bows, 150 plus arrows, 50 different broadheads, bow press, arrow saw cutter, fletching jigs, just about every elk calls sold in the market, including Paul's Chucklers, CDs, Playbook, and a load of time on-line trying learn and talk elk. I have been officially not allowed to practice elk calling in the house when not alone. Good thing the dog and cat don't say much.

I am done for now. As my wife puts it, "Are up to that Bull $hit again?".

[LckyTylr]

Mongopino915 . . . . . wanna be friends? If you need a place to store some of your excess equipment, I have space.

Great post Idahoghost.

[bnsafe]

you need a intervention, i will be right out

[WapitiTalk1]

Amazing... you do have a problem. Perhaps you do need to seek professional guidance. I, on the other hand do not have a problem. I am not an "elk user" like you sir at all. They use me. They call me, and I just have to go to them (pun intended). For the record, I haven't spray painted a brand new bow in elaborate camo patterns in years. It's been at least an hour since I sorted through the gear in my pre-packed backcountry pack. The magazines and hardback edition of Elk of North America under my bed are not mine. I only access Google Earth and Acme Mapping every day because I like to study terrain... i.e., north facing slopes, benches, potential transitional and funnel points, and potential wet areas because I am a student of geography. My half a closet full of camo clothing is just because I like the earth tone colors. I shoot tons of arrows at my rhinehart target each day because I like archery. My most frequented website is this one because I like chatting with nice people.... it has nothing to do with elk. I only access my MS Excel spreadsheet packing list with weight embedded forumulas to hone my automation skills. And lastly, I only go to my shop every night to cow call, pant, glunk, bugle w/grunts, bugle w/chuckles, and make estrus buzz sounds to chase away any potential bats that have taken up residence there. Not sure what to do for you idahoghost but I'm fine... really...

[sockeye]

Idahoghost, That is Funny!!!!! LOL.. I am glad I am not the only one. My favorate phrase from my wife "how many more months do I have to put up with this crap?" My addiction was only a few months of the year, Now I can find any reason to make it year round!!!! Thanks Paul for the site.

[slim9300]

CLASSIC POST! That was seriously worth reading. Clearly I'm not the only one.

[Swede]

Great story, and the best part is that only those afflicted that way, and have had people react to your "problem", can make any sense out of it. I don't know why but the story reminded me of a summer day when I was driving along, with a diaphragm in my mouth, practicing some calls. It was hot and I had the windows in the pickup down. At a stop light I noticed the car next to me had its windows down to. Out of oneryness I let out a bugle without a grunt tube. The young lady in the car next to me looked my way and I stared back at her as though I thought it was her that made the sound. It was funny watching her try to jester that it was not her. I just shook my head.