I've decided to go

[SoCo Mark]

There is something about this time of year that an overcome all sorts of feelings, ailments and other issues. To explain, I drew a rifle cow tag in my usual area which is an additional tag here in Colorado- meaning I can still buy another tag. I've been committed to going during rifle season, as always.
I've waffled back and forth concerning buying an over the counter archery tag all year long. To clarify, it has been and extremely long year for me personally. I can honestly say I've battled a combination of anxiety and depression this past year- to a point where doing very simple, ordinary tasks at home have been extremely difficult if not impossible. if you've experienced what I have you understand. If you haven't, just know that mental anxiety and depression are very real, very dangerous, and extremely difficult to overcome. Now I know I have a long way to go, but I really believe I'm making progress. I know this in part because this morning something told me- "just go on an archery elk hunt this year." It was clear and unmistakable. And so I've decided to go. Now, I've quasi-planned going all summer long, shooting my bow, checking gear etc, so it is not like I'm starting from square one. I've prepped to go, the only thing that was missing was a true desire to go. Not that I didn't want to hunt elk, not because I had other plans, not because a spouse or other was discouraging it, not a lack of money or time. It was simply a lack of care.
Now, I've felt myself climbing out of my funk. Slowly, but climbing out. All summer long I just didn't have fire in my belly sufficient to go. (Actually I haven't had a desire to much of anything.)Until this morning. Something told me to go. And so I will.
I'll be going in a new area. I'll backpack in as I've done in the past. Not far, about a mile and a half, bushwhacking it in a trail-less area. I'll camp at over 10500'. I can basically hunt back toward the road or further away to the west. I'll camp on a game unit line where south of my camp is a draw area. And north of me is private land about a half mile away. I'm sure I'll have this north facing slope to myself. I've been in there a few times, but haven't hunted it. I've seen elk, and plenty of fresh sigh. This is where I'll go.
In years past I've always yearned to get an elk with my bow. I've had an extreme desire to shoot an elk with my bow. This year, not so much. Oh I want one, badly. But more than that, I'm just excited to be excited to go. I'll enjoy the solitude of a back country hunt, a mile and a half away from my rig, LOL. I really want to hear bugling bulls, I really want to see and hear and smell elk, and I really want to arrow an elk. But way more than that, I'm really really really excited, to be excited. If you've been in my shoes you know exactly what I'm saying. If you haven't, pray that you never are in these shoes.
My dates are Sept. 19th through the 27th... I can't think of a better 50th birthday present to give myself than my first archery elk. The bulls may have their harems. The elk may be in large groups with lots of eyes, ears and noses. The elk may be on high alert after being chased for 3 weeks. I don't care. I'm excited to go. And so I shall.

[zpd307]

good luck, I will be cheering for you! this time of year definitely stirs something in the soul, especially when you have been elk hunting before....

[Indian Summer]

Everyone needs a reason to live. It only takes a small spark to ignite a fire. Elk hunting has many many aspects to it. The planning, the thrill of the chase, the moment of truth and the kill. But there's no doubt that just being in elk country, the mountains, is in itself very rejuvenating. It is a place that leads to soul searching and evaluating life's priorities. Not hunting elk can only lead to regrets. But going can only lead to good things. It doesn't matter what your reason is or even if you can't pinpoint them. All you need to know is that you desire to be there.

Every year I have one or two people that I am rooting for. You just made that list. Good luck my friend!

[ElkNut1]

Mark, you have negotiated & jumped many hurdles to accomplish what you have, good for you sir! I am excited that you are excited & really look forward to hearing about your triumphs & tribulations. All this is a measure of success & memories that will last you a lifetime! Good luck sir & keep us posted in your new adventure to arrow an elk with your bow! We are all pulling for you! (grin)

ElkNut1

[Elkduds]

Mark, good to see you back posting. Sounds like a very difficult year. The problems you described can be excruciating, debilitating. I hope you are receiving help. Your hunt sounds like a step back into the aspects of life you enjoy, I hope it marks a turn for the better. Best of luck. A lot of years ago I had a bad trauma that rocked my world. The 5 days I spent alone on a deer hunt were the 1st days I felt safe since the accident. The hunt helped me around the corner to getting better.

[WapitiTalk1]

Let the mountains and the fall hunt replenish your soul buddy. I can't think of another better time all year that can do this, and, a better way to get out and recharge your life batteries. So glad you decided to head up and out into what I know you and we all love, the elk woods. Take in the smells, sights, and sounds and enjoy your time "up there".

[phall]

i for sure have been in that similar dark funk that you are desrcibing. i believe your decision to go is probably a huge step back to emotional freedom. the outdoors bring a immense sense of calm and clarity, so i wish you a safe journey and some exciting elk action too

[BrentLaBere]

Keep at it, Mark. I wish you the best on your adventure. Have fun and stay safe.

[Mike_Parson]

I too still deal daily wiht the same type of medical condition you have. I too can completely relate to how you have felt. Its great that you are g oing and you are workign thru this. If you ever need just someone to chat with thats able to relate to things then feel free to PM me and id love to chat about anything. best of luck on your hunt.

[Tigger]

Dont measure your success by points or pounds. Measure it by sunrises and sunsets. By encounters with all things wild. By the exhaustion that comes from a day's hard work. and mostly, by being an active participant in nature.

[elkstalker]

Mark, I'm glad you decided to go! My prayer is that you would experience solitude, nature, and peace (oh and lots of elk!). Have a great trip, we're all pulling for ya!

[BRazz]

Mark - thank you for such a moving and honest post. I'm really pulling for you!!! Please keep us posted with details of the trip, I am anxiously awaiting more...