I Have A Question

[Swede]

I know many on this forum recognize I always have a question, but this is different.
Since August 30th I have been out of valid big game tags except for cougar, which is not worth spending my time waiting for. I see one only about every five years, so the State should consider my tag fee as a charitible contribution. It has been especially painful to have to sit back all through the Fall and just observe others bringing home trophies and posting here while I just sit as an observer. Don't get me wrong here. I do enjoy seeing people having success. I just want to be able to participate too.
Lately I have been doing some checking. In the State of Oregon you need a permit to keep and maintain wildlife. After reviewing our State Big Game Regulations I have determined that Reindeer are not classified as big game in our State. A license is all you need to shoot them. They are not on an Endangered Species list either!
Well every Christmas eve. some old white bearded coot, wearing a red suit with white cuffs, parks a herd of Reindeer in my yard. That herd of raindeer are harnessed to a sled. Every Christmas day I have to go out and clean up the mess they leave. I think the fat old man probably works as a chimney sweep during the day as he always has soot on his clothes, which by the way I end up cleaning up inside my house. I have noticed that he goes around and sometime parks his herd of Reindeer and sled on people's roof. At my place it is always the lawn where he stops. He was probably a burgler in his younger days. I say that as he can pick a lock and enter a house as quickly as the owner who has a key can get in. He is always very quiet too.
A couple of years ago I really got fed up with him. Every one else in the house had gone to bed, but I decided to stay up and read for awhile. I sat out a glass of milk and a saucer full of cookies to munch on. Well, before I sat down I had to take a bathroom break. When I came out, that old coot had been there and ate all of my cookies and drank my milk. I know it was him because of the soot and there were the usual presents all around the Christmas tree. Everyone's sock on the fireplace mantle was filled, except for mine. He had taken my sock and replaced it with one that had a large hole in it. The sock contained one big lump of coal. I was so disgusted I put my book up and went to bed.
Well this year, in this long off season time, I got to thinking. I am going to camo up on Christmas eve, and wait in the shrubs. When that fat old coot lands on MY lawn with his pooping Reindeer, I am going to shoot as many as I can. I can set up for an easy twenty yard broadside shot. I hope to get at least two with my bow, and pull them from their harness, before he comes out of the house. After all, what can he do about it? They are not legally his, and they are on My property. If he says anything, I will just reply "suffer old coot".
Per chance, if anyone of you see him hitch hiking, don't stop and pick him up. He will make a mess in your pickup or car. Besides that, he could use the exercise he will get from walking. Don't forget, I have this one sock without a mate because he took off with it. If anyone has seen it, I would appreciate getting it back. My name "Swede" was knitted on the top, so it should be easy to recognize.
Oh Ya. My question. Does anyone have a good receipe for roast Reindeer?

[planebow]

Love it!!!

[easeup]

I wonder how many "spares" he has. Like a passenger jet can fly with one engine down. so how many of those reindeer do you think he needs to sack up and leave?

[Swede]

Easeup, you need to ease up. I had not thought about all of that. What will I do with that darn sled of his and the rest of the reindeer? The sled is often loaded to the gunnels when it arrives, and I don't have enough room in the freezer for all of those reindeer. The bleeding heart liberals around the area, especially Portland, will be all up in arms. I figured the humane society would be threatening me, but now I hear that the mothers of the little kids around here will be screaming too. What for? I don't know, but I'm getting the feeling this is not at all a good idea.

[pointysticks]

boy i hope your house is after my house..hahahha

i have high hopes santa brings me a Zero Tolerance 0350 tigerstrip, partially serrated knife...and a headlamp.

[pointysticks]

honestly SWEDE..put an arrow into the lead reindeer. that will slow up the rest of the "herd" and you can pick them off at your leisure.

i bet the meat taste like Christmas!! mmmmm...

[Harmy]

nobody seems to be answering Swede's question.

Here goes.

1 large Roast Raindeer
Marinade roast in egg nog for 12 days. Very important step.
Pull roast out and wrap securely with mistle toe.
Place on traegger and throw in a handfull of small candy canes on the fire for a nice sweet peppermint smoke flavor. forget the mesquite briquets.
Cut roast into small 1/4" chuncks.
Add a gallon of candied mixed fruit.
Mix well.

Press into loaf pan.

Now, you have roast raindeer fruit cake...

[Swede]

I am beginning to to think there are several fruit cakes around here. I just got back from town (Scappoose) where I saw our old boy riding a Little Rascal scooter down the sidewalk. He was fully dressed in his red attire, and traveling full speed down the sidewalk in the rain. It was a sight to behold. I am wondering if somehow he got wind of my plan and is taking a demonstration drive in a new means of transportation. Where is Elknut when we need an expert, to help us with these weighty discussions?

[Harmy]

I am beginning to to think there are several fruit cakes around here.

HEY! I resemble that...

[one_elk]

Hey Swede
In all seriousness don’t forget to wear you scent lok as I hear that one Reindeer, Rudolph or something like that has a very strong nose, so strong it glows….and I will keep an eye out for your sock and hopefully you will be sharing Reindeer steaks with your friends here on the forum….

[foxvalley]

I would't waste your time with the reindeer,yes, they are fun to shoot, but fat man taste a lot better,they are self basteing.Just make sure you power-wash him before you cook him.

Also... If anybody messed with my socks, they WILL get a cap in thier ass. Don't waste your time staying up all night,he ain't worth it,sock stealing SOB,send me your address,and I'll borrow you my grizzly bear trap. Set it right in your fireplace, and bait it with your other sock.

[Swede]

Guys my hunting aspirations are over for the year now. My wife got wind of my plan to shoot a couple reindeer and she advised me that they are Santa Claus' herd. Oh Boy! There are many people depending on him and waiting for his arrival to come and fulfil their Christmas dreams. I sure would not want to mess up anyone's Christmas. I hope all of your wishes come true. Merry Christmas to all who frequent this forum.